In 1986 I put a big wrinkle in the wrapping world the day Santa decided to use simple unadorned sacks. OK they were black plastic garbage bags - so what? And they were tied with big red bows. So there.
My excuse for the unfortunate choice in wrapping? I was expecting a baby in April (that was you Alex, ahhhhh) and was very tired (ok, lazy) and facing me was a mountain of extremely odd shaped toys ripe for wrapping. Have you ever tried to wrap a football? Peyton Manning made it look so easy on his cute commercial this year but, now this gets technical, even if the ball is in a box, there is always a portion of the ball popping out of the box - why on earth they do this I'll never know but it makes for one very awkward wrap experience.
Then there was the issue of Optimus Prime. Can you really picture OP in all his glory wrapped in adorable Santa paper? It would be criminal. Would Jamie have thought that was respectful of the big guy? Isn't there more poetic justice in having that bad ass (as my daughter would say, I disclaim) lifted triumphantly out of an earthy, raw black bad ass bag? Of course there is. But Jamie saw it the other way. " Why are all my toys in a garbage bag?" was the bewildered message on his face.
The gifts were a hit but the bags struck out. Now, twenty years later, there ARE plastic Christmas bags - for everything. But they are red or printed prettily instead of down-the chimney-soot-black. There are even bags for bikes and cars, for heaven's sake! And just like the new Windows 7 commercials, think of me next year when you see a great gift wrapped in a super Santa Sack. Plastic Christmas bags were MY idea!
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I think it really shows the range of my influence that I affected Christmas while still in the womb.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, talking about myself in my mother's womb creeps me out.
On another another note, wouldn't Optimus Prime be Christian's gift? James would never play with something so fake.